I will never forget.

I was one of the few people that didn't know right away. I didn't watch the first or second plane hit live. I had no idea until almost 3 hours later.

I was a sophomore at Appalachian State and had a world history exam that day. I headed to the library very early that morning and found a quiet, back corner to study. I stayed in that corner until my exam at 11am, thus completely unaware of the morning's events. As I headed into class, I heard the buzzing of other students, tears, and the unknowns. Our professor came in and cancelled our class and sent us all on our way.

I remember so vividly being confused. I walked across campus back to where I lived with my sorority, and walked in to a lobby full of very scared girls. And there we sat. All day. Long into the evening. Staring at the images. Scared, unsure, praying, and making phone calls to everyone we loved.

It is a day burned deep into my memory. And today, the emotions I felt were raw. They were real. They stirred inside me and churned at my core. At first I couldn't pin point what it was that brought the emotions back so fierce and then it hit me. I am a mom. 10 years ago, I wasn't, and although it affected me deeply, it affected me even deeper today. I sat in church this morning, surrounded by local service men and women in uniforms, singing Amazing Grace, and watching the images on the screen, and my heart broke in two. It's not just about me anymore. I have littles to protect. Littles who will grow up in this same world that I did. How do we protect them? How do we teach them about this world? The good, the bad, and even the evil.

I was reminded of our mighty Lord. He was there in 2001. He was in the towers that morning. At the pentagon. On United 93. He was with all of us, as we watched the images and held on a little tighter to those around us. He was there. And today, He was there. Wrapping His arms around each of us as we prayed and sang of his grace and mercy.

And that's what we teach our littles. About life. About love. About holding on to those we love a little tighter. About the way our nation joined together and became more united that day. About the brave men and women who gave their life for people like us. And about a God who never leaves us, despite it all.

I am proud to be an American.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

- Amazing Grace (my chains are gone) 

the prize.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:14 

Tonight, the girls are asleep. They were both tuckered out and bedtime came early at the Branch house. Sean has been in San Fransisco all week and is supposed to be on a plane home tonight, if the weather cooperates. I have a glass of wine. My candle is burning. I just walked in and kissed Saylor's sweet head and said a prayer for the Lord to watch her as she sleeps. 


It's cold outside. I'm snuggled in a blanket as I type. My kitty is curled up next to me. I am counting my blessings. 


I am thankful for tonight, that I can watch Saylor sleep or look into Chloe's room and see her as her night light shines on her. I am thankful for a quiet, clean house. 


I sit at my computer with the lyrics of Jared Anderson, This is Life, playing in the background, and I am moved to tears. It touches me so deep. This road we are walking, it's a gift. I pray we don't lose sight of the prize we have in Christ Jesus. And while we await the prize, may we not miss the moments in between. It's a beautiful life. May we enjoy today. May we give grace and understanding to others. Life is truly bigger when we live for others...  my husband, my sweet little girls, my family and my friends, and ultimately, our God. 

Jared Anderson - "This is Life"

Brace yourself 

This is going to take every part of you

This is going to make God believe in you

And you believe in Him

Pace yourself

Eternity is not a fairy tale

The in between can be your heaven

Or just another day in hell

Cause the road we walk is straight and narrow

And the times we have they're ours to borrow

So give a little understanding

This is life and its hell if you only live for yourself

Calm yourself

The fear that's in your heart must surely die

You always say its hard and you don't know why

Well welcome to everybody else's life

And lift yourself

You're bigger when you're on your knees again

Just look above and look within

Don't look around its all just been

Cause the road we walk is straight and narrow

The times we have they're ours to borrow

So give a little understanding

This is life and its hell if you only live, 

Give a little understanding

This is life and its hell if you only live for yourself

 - Jared Anderson, This is Life

A Baby Changes Everything...

I love this song... it is one of my very favorite Christmas songs. I love it for so many reasons. For the sacrifice our sweet Jesus made for us. The joy of celebrating the true meaning of Christmas. The way my thoughts wander when thinking of the virgin Mary, and how she must have felt. A teenage girl, unwed. What a strong, courageous woman.


And this year, this song found an even deeper place in my heart, with the birth of my own sweet little girl. A baby changes everything. My heart. My soul. My spirit. A baby changes everything. The smiles are larger. The laughter deeper. The joy brighter. Glory to the newborn King. A baby changes everything! Hallelujah!

A Baby Changes Everything 
Teenage girl, much too young

Unprepared for what's to come

A baby changes everything

Not a ring on her hand

All her dreams and all her plans

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

The man she loves she's never touched

How will she keep his trust?

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

And she cries!

Ooh, she cries

Ooh, oh

She has to leave, go far away

Heaven knows she can't stay

A baby changes everything

She can feel it's coming soon

There's no place, there's no room

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

And she cries!

And she cries!

Oh, she cries

Shepherds all gather 'round

Up above the star shines down

A baby changes everything

Choir of angels sing

Glory to the newborn King

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

Everything, everything, everything

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

My whole life has turned around

I was lost but now I'm found

A baby changes everything, yeah

A baby changes everything

38 weeks and a PRAISE!

For You created my innermost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." - Psalm 139:13-14

This week has been full of ups and downs, in a major way. I went in for my 38 week appointment on Wednesday and the doctor had decided to do an ultrasound to get an idea of how big Saylor was and then check if I was dilated, etc. Sean and I went in for the ultrasound and everything was moving along nicely... they estimated her to weigh 6 lbs 10 oz. After a few minutes, the nurse began to focus on a certain area for quite a bit of time, thus making me quite nervous. She then got up and said she needed someone else to look and went and got another person. I fell apart as soon as she left the room. I knew this meant they thought something was wrong with her and I had no idea what it was. 


The other nurse came in and took quite a long look. She then explained to Sean and I that they were concerned about her bladder. On the ultrasound it appeared to be very enlarged and not functioning properly... in other words, she wasn't pee peeing.  They were also concerned of very high fluid levels that were surrounding her. They were unsure what the problem was and wanted us to meet with the doctor then go to USC Medical to meet with another doctor. Needless to say, I was a complete mess. Scared to death. So worried. 


We met with my doctor who reviewed the ultrasound pictures and told me, worst case scenario, since I am full term, they would go ahead and deliver this baby and then she would need to be seen by a Pediatric Urologist. Not the news I wanted to hear. Needless to say, Wednesday was a very tough day. 


My appointment at USC was set for the next day (yesterday). My mom came down Wednesday night to be with me, so we headed over to USC and met Sean there to see the doctor. I was a ball of nerves and emotions, but just kept reassuring myself that the Lord is our Great Physician, that He created every inch of this little girl, and he has a perfect plan.


We were seen by the nurse and doctor at USC and as soon as Saylor popped up on the screen, the nurse immediately said she didn't think anything was wrong at all. Oh my gosh. I could breathe again. I was so overcome with emotion. What an answer to pray. What an amazing God. She continued to take a look at her and continued to reassure me that this little girl was perfectly fine. She brought the doctor in to have him check as well and he completely agreed. 

Then I will go to the altar of God,

to God my exceeding joy,

and I will praise you with the lyre,

O God, my God.

—Psalm 43:4

The doctor was incredible. So warm and caring and made us feel wonderful. He pulled out the 4d machine and gave us sweet little pictures of baby girl. They measured her there as well and said she weighed 8lbs! Holy cow! Big difference from the weight we got the day before at my OB. My guess, she's somewhere right in between (mama's hoping, at least!). 

So now, we are relieved. We are thankful we have an amazing God. We are overflowing with praise. We are reminded of the bigger picture. We are overcome with joy. We are thrilled to be in the arms of such a sweet Lord. And we are waiting... excitedly, for little Saylor to join this great big world.

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 38 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Gained 24 pounds

Maternity Clothes: blech. I wear the same 3 outfits constantly.

Best Moment this week: Finding out Saylor is just perfect and healthy!

Gender: It's a girl - Saylor Alden Branch

Movement: her moves hurt these days and I feel every single one, ha

Food Craving: comfort food!

What I miss: fitting into my regular clothes and sleeping all night

Sleep: Good nights and bad nights

What I am looking forward to: meeting baby girl SOON!

Belly Button: Looks like it's going to stay in.

Stretch Marks: None yet. Yikes.

Symptoms: Nausea is full force. Lots of zofran. Overall, just feeling huge.

38 weeks:

And a HUGE thank you, with all of my heart, for the village that surrounds us. For sweet friends and family, praying for us, for Saylor. We are beyond blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people. We love you!

Grace.

Grace. Not just enough to get by, but an overwhelming abundance that we'll never understand or fathom.

Guide us with your grace.

Today...

Today, I will not be moved by what I see, what I think, feel or hear. My Father has called me blessed and highly favored...I will walk in that confidence and will rest and be at peace. Jesus rebuked the wind and spoke peace to the waves. I rebuke the unseen demonic forces and speak peace to my natural world. - Scott Reese

Ah!

Finally... a blissful night of sleep! I woke this morning feeling refreshed and excited for a week of things around the house then heading to the beach on Wednesday. Maybe it was due to the headache meds that are finally helping, or maybe it was due to my sweet husband taking care of everything at the house yesterday and letting me lay around, read, relax and have nothing to worry about. Either way, I felt so much better today, and if I had to place my bet on why,  I'm going to go with choice #2. Thank you extra sweet hubs!


We had a general contractor at our house this morning tieing up loose ends to make sure we close on time, so Chloe and I got ready, headed to my mom's house then went to the strawberry patch. Bummer on the strawberry patch front... after all the rain and hot weather, the strawberries are dieing out early this season. We each picked up a basket that had been pre-picked and I grabbed 2 tomatoes for tomato sandwiches. Not a total bust since we walked away with some strawberries then headed off to the park!


On to other exciting news... the Bachelorette premiers tonight and I am so excited to see Ali! I loved her on the Bachelor and am sure I will be sucked into this season because she is just precious! Can't wait to see what's in store! Happy Monday!

My first blog post... and our title!

So... as silly as this may sound, I struggled with naming our blog. I wanted it to reflect me, my husband and our family, right where we are in our life. Life has been a whirlwind these days, and I have found myself so thirsty for the Lord. So eager to be in His presence. Spending time in prayer and books. Seeking his guidance. And as I was thinking of starting this blog, I started thinking what we would call it. What would represent our journey... Our journey as newlyweds, our journey as we pick our little family up and move to a new city, our journey as I am now almost 17 weeks pregnant, and I thought of the words to the song "The Prayer." This song holds a very special place in my heart as it was sung in our wedding by my dear friend Malia, and the words always touch me deep in my core.

The Prayer

I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe
La luce che to dai

I pray we'll find your light
Nel cuore restero
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarchi che
When stars go out each night
Leterna stella sei
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede ce
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe.
Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace e di fraternita

La forza che ci dai
We ask that life be kind
Eil desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amore
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a se
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Just like every child

Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
E la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salvera

As I start this blogging journey, it is my hope I will have a format to document our journey, our challenges, our victories. As our family grows (the new addition is due November 10!), and as we start life in a new city, it is my prayer, that those dear to us, will join us on this adventure. Love to you all.

xo Kilbi