bittersweet.

Here I am, in the last week of pregnancy, and my, it is so bittersweet.

Sweet in that my body is just about at maximum capacity. Sweet in that I will appreciate sleeping comfortably, wearing regular clothes, not aching everywhere and getting myself back in shape. Sweet in that my hair will hopefully not continue to fall out in chunks, my face won't be all crazy different shades and my ankles and feet won't look like baked potatoes.

But bittersweet, still. Bittersweet in that this is most likely my last time being pregnant. That I will no longer feel the sweet flutters in the early weeks or strong kicks as the baby continues to grow. Bittersweet in that I won't be the only one in the world bonded with a sweet baby who hasn't made his appearance into the world yet. Bittersweet in that I won't have the excitement of seeing the lines on a stick and sharing the joy that a new little person will soon be joining our family. And bittersweet in that I won't have my belly to rub, knowing a beautiful blessing is growing inside of me.

It's a crazy feeling, really. All the emotion, the smiles and excitement, the joy, the fears and anxiety. The worrying, the praying, the longing to hold and see that sweet face for the first time. No experience is quite like it. I have emotions I wish I could bottle up and save forever. The anticipation. The love. Even some of the funny glances I get when walking around looking like I am about to pop.

And then the day comes. The day you meet them. And you are so fully, deeply in love. The wait is over. They are here. Another one of God's precious angels has emerged into our world. For a family to love. To cherish. To raise.

And all at once, there it is again. That feeling. The bittersweet cycle continues. Time goes too fast. They grow up too quickly. The days may be long, but the years are short. They change right in front of us with each passing moment. Time is fleeting. Little ones are learning and changing. And we long for one more time to rock them to sleep. To hold them. To sing "Jesus loves me." To make them laugh and hold them close when they cry. To make sure they know they are loved with every shred of our being.

Bittersweet. It's all so bittersweet.